


Of All Things (This)

by beaglesinbowties (Girlblunder)



Series: One shots: It could be canon [10]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/F, Romance, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 05:56:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girlblunder/pseuds/beaglesinbowties
Summary: An accident happens and Alex forgets everything - but there are some things that can't be forgotten, and some things she wishes she could forget.





	Of All Things (This)

**Author's Note:**

> I've had most of this sitting around for the better part of the month. Sleep hasn't been my friend lately, but I was finally able to finish this. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy.

* * *

There’s a sharp, stabbing pain in her head—one that sears so profoundly that it feels like her eyes will burst from the pressure.

She cries out, her hands gripping thin fabric and then metal.

A warm hand comes to rest on her forehead; she turns into it in hopes that it’ll help alleviate the agony in her skull. “Alex! Alex, it’s okay, it’s okay. You’re okay, you’re in the infirmary...”

The relieved words fade out as she gratefully loses consciousness again.

*

The next time she wakes up the pain is thankfully subdued to a dull roar. It feels like maybe she could open her eyes, even, with how tolerable it is compared to before.

Her lids are heavy but eventually she manages to lift them. She blinks.

Is she in a _cave_?

Her heart leaps and her stomach lurches, and then she’s left staring down at the frumpy hospital gown she’s encased in. Given the pain in her head and—she lifts a hand to the thick bandage that covers her forehead—everything else, it makes sense that she’d be in a hospital. 

With the exception of the dark, irregular walls around her, she would guess that her assumption is correct. Her attention flicks to the EKG where she idly notes that her heart is beating uncommonly fast. She stops and takes a breath.

“Agent Danvers.”

She follows the sound of the voice until she’s looking at a stern, swarthy older gentleman. She swallows, not knowing what to say.

He steps further into the room, his eyes hard but concerned. “You gave us all quite a scare.”

The lines around his eyes and mouth ease as he draws closer. It’s clear he cares about her.

She swallows. It makes the next part just a little easier. “I’m sorry, but, who are you?” She bites her lip and looks down to tug fretfully at the flimsy hospital gown. “And who am I?”

“Alex!” comes a cry from the open doorway.

There’s a blonde woman there, pale with hair down and blue eyes watery as as her hands clench and unclench at her sides.

Alex (she knows that must be her name by the way the woman is looking right at her) grips the sheets on her bed tighter, her heartbeat thundering loudly in her ears as panic rises.

She wants to blurt out more questions but she can’t seem to breathe, and then sweet dark oblivion reaches out and overtakes her.

*

“Kara.” Her mouth is dry and her lips feel brittle, but the word still creaks out as she regains consciousness again.

The warm softness that’s been rhythmically brushing against the side of her face halts, and then disappears.

Alex’s tongue darts out in a vain attempt to moisten her lips. The face before her is both familiar and not—not the woman from before, but Alex has the feeling she should know _this_ woman, too.

“Here,” the woman says, her brown eyes crinkling at the corners as she offers Alex an awkward smile and a paper cup.

The paper cup is cool against her hand, and Alex’s mouth seems all the dryer until it’s pressed to her lips and she’s taking a long slow pull of the sweet water therein.

“Thanks,” she says, voiced smoothed over a little now that she’s better hydrated.

“No problem,” the dark-haired woman says, small tight smile still in place. She shifts her hands to her hips, making her leather jacket creak. “Um, Kara’s not here right now, but she should be back soon.”

Alex cants her head to the side, a frown blossoming on her face. She leans over to set the cup down on a metal side table. “Who?”

“Oh,” the woman’s eyes go wide, and then she’s releasing a loud sigh. “You don’t remember yet. I’m Maggie.”

There’s something in the way she’s looking at Alex… this woman—Maggie—is supposed to mean something to her.

A noise at the door pulls her attention away from silently pleading brown and then Alex’s heart feels like it’s going to pound out of her chest. The first woman is back, blue eyes full of tears and her hands clenched tightly at her sides.

“Hey,” she says softly when the woman hesitates.

Alex’s stomach flips when the blonde woman smiles—despite the lone tear trickling down her cheek.

“Are you okay?” the blonde woman asks, taking a hesitant step inside.

Though conscious of the fact that there’s more than the two of them in the room, Alex can’t look away from the newcomer. _Yes_ , she wants to say but she doesn’t want to lie. Not to her.

“I don’t know,” Alex says honestly, admiring the way the long loose blonde hair moves with the other woman’s every step. “Physically I’m pretty alright, but I think I’m missing a few things up here.” She taps her temple for emphasis.

The woman is on the other side of her now, hands reaching toward Alex in what seems to be an unconscious movement if the way she pulls back to dig her hands against the sheets is anything to go by. “Oh,” she says in a whisper, blue eyes welling anew.

Alex doesn’t think twice, her hand reaching out to curl around white-knuckled hands. “Hey... it’ll be okay.”

Her breath catches as she touches the smooth skin, her fingertips moving in a pattern she feels like they must have traced a thousand times. It’s muscle memory, just the way her heart feels like it leaps in her chest when she receives a smile for her efforts.

“I’m Kara,” the blonde woman explains, her voice breaking. Alex fights the urge to reach out a hand to wipe the tears away, not knowing if that would be appropriate despite the way her body seems to know things her mind doesn’t.

“Kara.” The name feels right in her mouth, and if Alex were alone she imagines she’d say it a hundred times to herself for the comfort the syllables bring her.

There’s a gentle clearing of a throat, and then Alex’s attention is finally pulled to the left.

Maggie’s smile seems tighter than before; she steps closer and deposits a paper bag next to Alex’s hip. “Brought you a sandwich from a deli you like.”

Feeling like she’s somehow doing something wrong, Alex reluctantly tugs her hand away from Kara to inspect the paper bag. She offers Maggie something bordering on a smile. “Thanks.”

*

Some days later, Alex is alone in her apartment.

She’d been physically cleared for home, though not for duty. Her memory still isn’t right, though some things have begun to come back. Confusing, scary things.

Those things have her sitting alone on her overstuffed couch, glad to have a valid excuse to ignore her phone as she stares at two different framed photos.

In her left hand is a light wood framed image of Maggie—new according to the price sticker Alex had apparently forgotten to remove from the back—smiling, her dimples winking charmingly at Alex. Looking at the image is pleasant, though only vaguely familiar.

In her left hand… she grips the dark frame tighter. It’s Kara, with glasses on and head tossed back in laughter. Her cheeks are flushed, and Alex knows she must have said something embarrassing to get Kara to loosen up. Alex feels warm and giddy when she looks at this image.

She _loves_ this photo.

She loves...

This is what makes everything so scary and confusing.

Her name is Alexandra Danvers. Alex for short. She’s twenty-eight years old, and works for a secret organization called the Department of Extranormal Operations. She loves pizza, beer, and guns.

Kara Danvers is her sister. Maggie Sawyer is her girlfriend.

When they’d told Alex, she’d wanted to tell them that, _obviously_ , they’re wrong. Those labels seem a bit mixed up.

Thankfully, she’d stopped herself from voicing her thoughts. She hadn’t even remembered their names. Surely they know better than she does.

Alex has spent countless hours since trying to understand her feelings, wondering that if things will be better once the memories that remain stubbornly elusive return. She hopes so.

As it is she can hardly stand the twisting in her gut when Maggie takes her hand and she has to resist dropping it to reach out to Kara instead.

She’s trying. She is.

Everything is just all wrong. She’s all wrong. Something terrible must have happened to her head when she’d been caught in the concussive blast, something that the doctors had missed out on.

*

Two weeks after waking up in the infirmary, Alex knows things will never get better.

She stares down at the bottle of expensive whisky she’s liberated from the cupboard, debating finding a glass for it or not.

Her memories have mostly come back, and rather than helping, she feels infinitely worse. For a short time she’d had freedom to feel a certain way, freedom from knowledge that had kept her heart from sinking like a stone down into her stomach every time Kara walked into the room. 

There are still some memories out of her reach; small things like the name of her chemistry professor in college that she’s certain she used to know before are still missing.

But she still remembers late nights curling up with Kara to peer up at the stars in Midvale, the times they’d (mostly vainly) spread out a blanket on Kara’s small terrace to try and replicate the experience in National City.

She knows exactly the weight of Kara’s hand and fingers, the shape of skin and muscle and bone that’s knit together in such a way that it seems made to interlace with her own.

She knows Kara’s laugh, airy and light—or sometimes low and rough, and always a panacea for the thoughts that have her wondering if the world would be a better place without Alex in it.

She knows the desire and want that burns inside her for Kara, traitorous and consuming even as she patiently remains by Kara’s side in the only way she knows she’s allowed to. It’s not Kara’s fault that she’s so amazing. It’s all Alex, something twisted and messed up inside that has her wanting more with the woman long designated as her sister.

It’s not purely lust. That’s what makes it insurmountable. Inescapable.

She simply wants all of Kara, all to herself. Secrets. Hopes. Dreams. She wants to be first in Kara’s heart in every way, privy to all the intimate moments of Kara’s mornings, noons, and nights. The want sometimes feels so large that Alex wonders one day if she won’t be utterly consumed by it.

It’s why Alex understands that she needs Maggie. Maggie isn’t perfect, but she’s perfect for Alex. They fit in their own way. It’s not the way she and Kara fit but that’s a good thing. With someone to focus on that isn’t Kara, Alex feels like she might be able to remain sane. And she does care for Maggie—loves her, even. Just not in the same way she loves Kara.

There’s the sound of a key in the lock, and then the door is being pushed open.

“Hey babe,” Maggie says breezily as she steps inside Alex’s apartment. She’s got a large brown bag braced against her hip.

The smile is fake at first, but then Alex relaxes and realizes that everything will be fine because this relationship isn’t bad… and that’s good enough. “Hey. Whatcha got there?”

“I’m making us dinner,” Maggie announces proudly. “We’ve got to celebrate your impending return to duty, don’t we?”

Alex pushes the bottle of whisky closer to the middle of the counter so Maggie will have room to put the bag down. “Sounds good.”

They chat idly as Maggie empties the bag, playfully slapping Alex’s hands away when she gets curious.

“I invited Kara,” Maggie says suddenly when Alex is finally sipping at a much-needed glass of whisky.

Alex just barely manages not to choke, her heart pounding in her ears. “Oh? What’d she say?”

She rubs at her throat fruitlessly, silently wishing to ease the burning ache.

Maggie’s movements slow. Alex wonders if the inquiry had sounded weird. Too eager. Too scared.

“She’s coming, of course.” There’s something in Maggie’s voice, like the tight smile she’d given Alex the first several days after losing her memory.

Alex ignores it, licks her lips, and nods before pouring herself another three fingers of whisky.

*

“That was fun,” Alex says later as they’re cleaning up after dinner. Kara hadn’t stayed long after eating, though it’s clear to Alex she’s still feeling clingy after Alex’s accident a few weeks ago.

The amnesia had been especially scary for Kara, who’d already lost too much. So maybe it sucks remembering _everything_ now, but maybe it also doesn’t.

Alex stops drying the plate she’s holding, wondering if she’d missed Maggie’s response. She sets the dish and the towel down, peering towards the stove where Maggie had been cleaning up some splashes and spills from cooking dinner.

“Mags?”

Maggie is staring down at the clean stovetop, unmoving. The old grey rag she’s been using to clean up with is limp at her side.

“Alex,” Maggie begins as she gingerly sets the rag down. She braces her hands on either side of the oven. “I think we need to break up.”

Shock jolts through Alex. She tenses and steps closer to Maggie. “ _What_? Why?”

For several seconds, Maggie remains staring down at the stovetop. Abruptly, she turns on her heel. She’s not glaring, exactly, but she looks less than happy.

“I think you know why.”

A muscle in Alex’s cheek twinges. Arguments usually start like this, though they haven’t had many. She takes in a slow breath, holds it, and then releases it just as slowly as before. “I don’t, actually.”

Maggie’s purses her lips into a thin line. “It might have something to do with the fact that you looked like you wanted to kiss Kara for most of dinner tonight.”

Alex pales. Her lips part as she flounders for a moment. “I don’t know what you mean,” she retorts weakly.

“You’re slipping, Danvers.” There’s bite in Maggie’s words, her lips curled into a snarl.

As Alex stares blankly at her, Maggie relaxes her face. She closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “Did you know that you said her name before you even remembered it?” Her eyes open, and her stare is hard. “I always knew you loved her more than anyone else, but I didn’t realize how much until you hit your head.”

“I love you too, you know,” Alex mumbles softly. She dips her head and her hair cascades in front of her face. She needs a moment away from her (ex?) girlfriend’s intense scrutiny.

Her hair slides back as Maggie tilts her chin up.

“Not the way you should. Not the way I deserve.” Maggie is matter-of-fact, her thumb caressing Alex’s cheek. She smiles and drops her hand, offering Alex a shrug. “Don’t call me.”

After the door slams and something metal scrapes under the door (her spare key, she later realizes) it feels like Alex’s lungs collapse.

Maggie knows her secret. Maggie has broken up with her. Maggie _knows_ her secret.

She stumbles toward the cupboard and jerks out the bottle of whisky.

*

Days plod on into weeks, and it seems like no one’s figured out that Maggie’s gone. Or the other, bigger, secret that Alex would rather die for than reveal.

She’s careful at work, though she throws herself as much as she can into any of the field missions. Coming home exhausted is what she needs, and so she declines invitations from everyone with excuses of plans with Maggie she doesn’t have.

It works, though, people assuming she’s plunged back headfirst into the excitement of new love.

Everything works fine.

Until it doesn’t.

Kara loves her too much to stay away, even when she asks it.

“I thought you had plans with Maggie tonight?” Kara asks, frowning as she comes in from the balcony.

Alex grunts and goes back to pretending to watch the show she doesn’t remember the name to. “You did? Yet here you are.”

“I wanted to check—and you haven’t answered my question.”

“Huh. That’s weird.” Alex squints at the TV. “I think that guy is trying to marry a sheep.”

“Al-ex,” her name is drawled out in a near-whine, and then her lap is covered in blonde hair as Kara scowls up at her.

Alex continues to watch the show. Her hands twitch with the effort it takes not to tangle her hands up in the sun-silk of Kara’s hair. “Mm?”

“Come on,” Kara coaxes in a low voice as she reaches out for one of Alex’s hands.

“That tickles,” Alex lies when Kara’s fingertips begin tracing along the skin of her palm and fingertips.

Kara stops but doesn’t let go.

Alex sighs, finally looking down. She immediately regrets it.

“Talk to me.” Kara’s face is serious and open, a small furrow between her eyebrows as she cradles Alex’s hand against her stomach.

There’s not much Alex can say—can allow herself to say. “We broke up,” she finally admits. She hates lying to Kara, so at least she can be honest about this.

“ _What_?” Kara squawks out in surprise, her hands clutching Alex’s too tightly.

“Ease up there, will ya?” Alex nods her head towards their joined hands with a wince.

Kara looks immediately contrite. “Sorry. Will you tell me what happened?”

Though Alex wants nothing more than to be (no, she actually doesn’t) alone, she gives Kara a cleaned up version of the incident, explaining that both she and Maggie realized they don’t love each other as much as they thought they did.

Kara snuggles into her and sticks around for a few hours of junk food and equally junky TV after that revelation.

And even later, when Kara’s been gone for hours, Alex realizes it had been nice to see her sister again.

Until she closes her eyes and tries to sleep, and can only think how lovely it had felt to be pressed up next to Kara. Kara’s head had rested on her shoulder for much of the night, soft hair tickling at Alex’s neck. She’d missed the smell of Kara around her, close and intimate.

There’s a spark of warmth in Alex’s abdomen, and Alex hisses and digs her nails deep into her palm. 

It takes her several hours more to fall asleep.

*

Kara is worried about Alex.

It’s been just over a week since Kara has learned about Alex’s breakup with Maggie.

Kara had expected that would mean more invitations for sister nights. She’d been wrong.

Sure, Alex doesn’t turn her away on the nights she shows up without an invitation, but it’s not the same as before.

Their banter is quiet and short-lived, though Alex still shifts her weight to accept Kara’s head when Kara is craving affection.

Maybe Alex is depressed about how things had ended with Maggie, maybe it’s something else. The accident _had_ been terrifying, and Kara thinks it’s a lot of trauma to endure in such a relatively short amount of time. Kara knows what that’s like.

There’s nearly always poorly concealed bags under Alex’s eyes these days.

She’s worried that Alex isn’t resting enough. A tired Alex out in the field has and will make mistakes. Maybe dangerous mistakes.

She can’t let this go on. Something needs to change.

A bird nearly flies into her, and Kara swerves harshly to avoid the little guy. Her heart pounds even though she would have been fine. Flying while distracted has its hazards, but Kara hadn’t expected it so late. She shakes her head and squints up at the sky, wondering what time it is. It’s dark, but by the position of the moon she’d guess it to be some time after one.

She’s done enough flyovers for the night, she decides. Except… for one place.

Kara takes a deep breath and turns towards Alex’s apartment.

*

Alex shifts restlessly against the mattress, turning fitfully to her stomach when it fails to yield in a way to help ease her into sleep. She’s tried doing situps and pushups, had even tried a hot shower after to help relax her muscles.

In all her years spent with pent up feelings and wants, Alex has never felt this way. Not like this.

She wonders, if maybe, something really _had_ happened the day she’d hit her head.

There was no other way to explain this _fever_ that begun to eclipse everything else in her life.

She grits her teeth and clutches her pillow with both fists. Alex has never, ever done anything like she’s considering doing. It makes her feel a hundred times worse that she’s finally, really, considering it at all.

But the _heat_ is driving her crazy, eating away at her in the quiet hours when she’s alone.

The tautness in her body is excruciating, but even as she considers that whispery thought that feels wrong, she pushes it away.

She stands and tugs off her clothes until she’s just in her sports bra and panties. The feeling will pass, she just needs to cool down now.

Though Alex has never liked going to therapy, she considers that, maybe, it might be good to see someone about this. Talk. 

She’s not going to touch herself and think of Kara. It feels wrong to do so, like she’s taking something from Kara without permission, taking advantage of their closeness.

Alex would rather never sleep through another night through than do that.

She laughs up at the ceiling as she flops back down on the bed. It’s an odd sound, but it makes her feel better all the same. She’s not an animal. She’ll find release when she isn’t so… focused on someone she shouldn’t be.

Mornings are usually a little easier. She resolves to treat herself to a soothing shower when her alarm goes off.

That decided, she stretches her arms and legs out as far as she can. Some part of her is settled now, the heat dropping to a low, and more tolerable, simmer.

“Alex?” comes a tentative voice from only a few feet away.

Alex half-leaps, half-rolls from the bed. She lands on her knees down on the other side of the bed, the mattress now between her and the shadow before recognition has time to seep in. “Holy crap, Kara, are you _trying_ to give me a heart attack?” she snaps as she flicks her bedside lamp on.

“N-no,” Kara stutters out with flushed cheeks. She straightens after a moment, her cape settling behind her as she clears her throat. “I was worried about you. I’ve been worried about you. It’s not like I’ve never come by like this before, why are you so jumpy?” She frowns. “Did something happen?”

“No.” Alex stands and rolls her eyes, one hand rising to tug through her hair. “I was just sleeping. Well, trying to sleep. Whatever.” She frowns as it registers that Kara is _here_ at, she glances over at her clock, nearly two in the morning. “Why were you out patrolling this late?”

Kara reaches back to fidget with her cape, not looking directly at Alex. She shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t really need sleep. I’ve been too restless to stay home much.” Her eyes focus on Alex without warning. She’s frowning. “But that’s not why I came here. Something’s going on with you and you won’t tell me what.”

Cool air prickles over Alex’s skin; she’s suddenly aware that she’s standing around in only her underwear. She licks her dry lips. “Did you forget to close the window?”

“I—” Kara’s mouth snaps closed. There’s a fresh gust of cool air. She’s gone and back so quickly that her absence seems only a flicker of light. “Alex,” she tries again in a low voice as she steps forward, “please don’t shut me out.”

Alex’s throat works. She crosses an arm protectively in front of herself, the other rising as she tugs her fingers sloppily through her hair. “I’m not shutting you out. I just need… time. Space. I don’t know.”

“S-space? From me?”

The _yes_ that Alex needs to say falls away when she looks back at Kara and sees the way Kara is curled in on herself and trying not to cry.

“Come here,” Alex says in a thick voice. Against her better judgement she opens her arms out in a wide invitation.

It’s an invitation Kara doesn’t hesitate to accept.

Alex closes her arms and holds Kara close. She’d worried that the _fever_ from before would return, betray her, but all that begins is a rising feeling in her chest. She loves Kara _so_ much.

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” she whispers after several minutes have passed.

Kara’s hands tighten against her back. “I can’t lose you, Alex.”

The joy Alex feels becomes sharp and painful. She squeezes her eyes shut. “I know.”

“I’m sorry for being so clingy. I just…”

Alex smiles and shakes her head slightly, not wanting to disturb Kara from where her face is buried against Alex’s neck. “It’s okay. I know.”

Kara nuzzles closer and Alex can feel warm breath tickling at her neck from Kara’s parted lips. She shifts uncomfortably from foot to foot, once again aware of her near nakedness—and is instantly fearful of the warmth growing low in her abdomen.

She has to force herself not to stiffen when Kara’s fingertips begin tracing light patterns against her bare back. The hot breaths against her neck seem quicker. Her heart pounds embarrassingly fast.

“Why don’t I make us some tea?” She pushes gently at Kara’s shoulders but Kara doesn’t move. She swallows convulsively. “Kara?”

“I need you, Alex,” Kara whispers a moment before she presses a single open-mouthed kiss against Alex’s neck.

Shock and something else ripples through Alex, goosebumps erupting to life on her skin as she grips Kara’s shoulders. “Kara—”

But she can’t speak as another kiss is pressed to her neck. And then another.

 _Oh god,_ is all she can think with Kara begins softly sucking at her pulse point. She eases her grip on Kara’s costume. “Kara,” she tries in a strangled voice. She licks her lips and tries again. “Kara, what are you doing?”

All Kara’s movements still. Her head slowly rises. 

Alex’s breath catches at the intensity of the look. The yearning, fear, and vulnerability are more than she can take.

The fever doesn’t catch her off guard this time, tempered as it is by that ever-rising elation being around Kara always makes her feel. Her eyelids flutter closed as she leans almost minutely toward Kara.

The kiss is soft but demanding, Kara’s body pushing into her even as Kara’s hands try to carefully draw her closer. Alex feels lightheaded when Kara’s lips part and enclose her lower lip in wet heat.

 _I love you,_ she wants to say, but Kara’s mouth hardly leaves hers alone as they fall back onto her bed.

There’s a moment when the kissing pauses, when Kara is above her on raised arms and both their chests are heaving and they’re staring at one another, that Alex wonders what it _is_ they’re doing… but then Kara is hurriedly pulling her costume off and Alex forgets everything but the divine feel of Kara’s skin against her own.

When Kara’s fingers slide into her for the first time, Alex knows that she won’t be able to share anything like this with anyone else ever again. Her back arches and she can’t think as Kara whispers softly into her ear.

*

When Alex wakes up naked and alone, tangled in her sheets and comforter, she wishes she felt surprised. Instead she stares up at the ceiling, feeling hollow and sated all at once.

She smiles at the telltale sting that sharpens behind her eyes, her head shaking from side to side. It wasn’t a dream. Her body aches in too many ways, and she’s certain the rawness at her neck is from Kara’s teeth.

It wasn’t a dream, but Alex should have known better. They weren’t meant to be this, to do _that_ with each other…

Her eyes slide shut as she sucks in a shaking breath. She remembers Kara’s hair trailing over her body, that all-consuming look Kara had given her right before pressing a kiss to her abdomen for the first time.

The sheets still smell like Kara. 

It feels like her throat is closing up.

Kara is gone.

She rolls over onto her side and squeezes her eyes shut harder in a vain attempt to keep the tears from falling.

Crinkling catches her attention. Confused, she opens her eyes.

She blinks and raises her head, one hand swiping roughly at her wet cheeks.

Her lips part. The note is wrinkled, but legible.

_I want to be here when you woke up so badly, but I have to work. At least for a little while. I’m going to finish things up as quickly as possible, I swear. I know we need to talk about last night, but I just…_

_Amazing, Alex. That’s all I can say right now. Meet me for lunch?_

_-Kara_

Alex laughs, a loud and rough sound that sounds more like choking. The tears are back in her eyes but this time she’s grinning and pressing the note close to her chest.

She feels giddy, almost floating as she rests and wonders at her own doubts.

Even with Kara’s note, she can feel them pressing in on her skull, waiting to lure her back into the deep darkness it feels like she’s lived in for most of her life.

Alex pushes them away again for now, glancing at the clock. She raises her eyebrows.

“Shit,” she blurts out as she rolls out of bed. She hasn’t slept this late in ages. As she hurries to gather some clothes for her shower, she can’t help but grin.

Everything has changed. It’s terrifying.

And exciting.

She only had to forget everything she’d ever known to get here.


End file.
